| I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots; his young shoots will grow. His splendour will be like an olive tree, his fragrance like a cedar of Lebanon. Men will dwell again in his shade…
Hosea 14:5-7, NIV
The Lord’s been talking to me about rain. I kept finding verses about how He sends water, rain or dew on the earth. I began to understand an important principle. Man is like a seed. He’s got the potential of life. But two things are required for the spark of life to begin. First of all the seed needs to be planted and hidden in the soil, and secondly it must have the rain. The seed thirsts for the rain. The verses in Hosea speak of the importance of rain. Rain enables roots to grow and be strengthened so that they’re able to go down deep. With its roots, a young tree is able to draw in essential food, but also to have the stability it needs to survive. Each part of the tree is then able to grow and develop and bring forth its own special blossom. Isn’t that a great picture of life? Every part of the tree is alive and well, fulfilling its purpose. The Bible says that the source of richness is the water supply –dew to be exact. A friend told me that it rarely rains in Israel. But there’s a counterpart to rain. Mist rises from the sea and settles over the mountains as dew, gently soaking into the earth. What a beautiful illustration of the work of the Holy Spirit in us! The Bible is filled with references to water as the provision sent to us from heaven. Isaiah 45:8 describes justice as the rain of heaven, clearly sent by God. When it comes down, it produces the fruit of ‘salvation’ and a harvest of ‘righteousness’. God has put the seed of life into every single one of us. But He patiently waits for us. Our part is to open up the ground of our hearts to Him, and crave for His water. Prayer: Lord, You alone know the seed that You’ve put in me and the ground of my life. You know if it’s become dry, broken or even dead. Your eyes see what You’ve sown in me. Would You help me to open up to You, to realize that You alone make me come alive? Would You send Your rain so that I can flourish by the work of Your Spirit? Thank you Father! |
EuRoPeAn ChRiStMaS wIsHeS!!!!
16 12 2009The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations the British Government conceded that English spelling has room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan
that would become known as Euro-English
In the first year “ s “ will replace the soft “ c “. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “ c “ will be dropped in favour of “ k “. This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ ph “ will be replased with “ f “. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “ e “ in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replacing “ th “with “ z “ and “ w “ with “ v “
During ze fifz yer ze unesesary “ o “ kan be drpd from vords kontaining “ ou “ and after ziz fifz yer v vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru.
N efter ze fifz yer ve vil al be spekin german like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
F a blesd Krismas n api Nu Yer !
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: christmas wishes, europe, puns
Categories : Fun stuff
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language
16 12 2009There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine In pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. If Dad is Pop, how come! Mom isn’t Mop?
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: english, play of words, words
Categories : Fun stuff
SpOoNeRiSms
10 10 2009WHAT IS THAT???

Well I asked myself the same question after receiving from my work colleague the following words : “Meeky Chonkey”. I used to think I had a fair knowledge of English, knowing some slang from different countries and being able to play around with the words…Till recently.
Coming back to my colleague, I did ask him in wonder where he had unearthed those words. Again, he replied with two words : “Spoonerize it”. And that’’s how we come on today’s subject : Spoonerism.
- My friend Wikipedia tells me “A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. It is named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency.” As a personal note, I will add that these are called “Contrepèteries” in French, and are unfortunately often used for wrong purposes.
- I realize that, if you’re as fond of theory as i am, you’ll need some examples, so here we go:
And since all thood gings -I mean good things- should end with a story, here comes Cinderella:

Prinderella and the Cince
by Colonel Stoopnagle
Here, indeed, is a story that’ll make your cresh fleep. It will give you poose gimples. Think of a poor little glip of a surl, prairie vitty, who, just because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the more, clinkle the shuvvers out of the stitchen cove and do all the other chasty nores, while her soamly histers went to a drancy bess fall. Wasn’t that a shirty dame?
Well, to make a long shorry stort, this youngless hapster was chewing her doors one day, when who should suddenly appear but a garry fawdmother. Beeling very fadly for this witty prafe, she happed her clands, said a couple of waggic merds, and in the ash of a flybrow, Cinderella* was transformed into a bavaging reauty.
And out at the pre=”the “>sturbcone stood a nagmificent coalden goach, made of a pipe rellow yumpkin. The gaudy fairmother told her to hop in and dive to the drance, but added that she must positively be mid by homelight. So, overmoash with accumtion, she fanked the tharry from the hottom of her bart, bimed acloard, the driver whacked his crip, and off they went in a dowd of clust.
Soon they came to a casterful pre=”casterful “>wundel, where a pransome hince was possing a tarty for the teeple of the pown. Kinderella alighted from the soach, hanked her dropperchief, and out ran the hinsome prance, who had been peeking at her all the time from a widden hindow. The sugly isters stood bylently sigh, not sinderizing Reckognella in her goyal rarments.
Well, to make a long class=”hiddenSpellError” pre=”long “>shorty still storer, the nince went absolutely pruts over the pruvvly lincess. After several dowers of antsing, he was ayzier than crevver. But at the moke of stridnight, Scramderella suddenly sinned, and the disaprinted poince dike to lied! He had forgotten to ask the nincess her prame! But as she went stunning down the long reps, she slicked off one of the glass kippers she was wearing, and the pounce princed upon it with eeming glize.
The next day he tied all over trown to find the lainty daydy whose foot slitted that fipper. And the ditty prame with the only fit that footed was none other than our layding leedy. So she finally prairied the mince, and they happed livily after everward.
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: english, fun, language, play on words, puns, spoonerism, words
Categories : Fun stuff
MaY tHiS nOt GiVe BaD iDeAs To AnYoNe!
10 10 2009NEW EMPLOYMENT RULES
SICKDAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness. If youare able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.
SURGERY
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need allyour organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We hired youintact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
HOLIDAYS
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are called Saturdayand Sunday.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for deadfriends or relatives. Every effort should be made to have non-employees toattend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement isnecessary, the funeral should be scheduled for the late afternoon. We willbe glad to allow you to work through your lunch-hour and subsequently leaveone hour early, provided your share of the work is done.
ABSENT FOR YOUR OWN DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks ‘notice to allow time for you to train your own replacement.
TOILET USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. In the future, we willfollow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance:Allemployees whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8.00 to 8.20, employeeswhose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8.20 to 8.40 and so on. If you areunable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until thenext day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees mayswap their time with a co-worker. Both workers’ supervisors must approvethis exchange in writing.In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the toilets.Atthe end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract,and the door will open..
LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so they canlook healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to maintain theiraverage figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that’s all thetime needed to drink a Slimfast and take a diet pill.
DRESS CODE
It is advised that you must come to work dressed according to your salary.If we see you wearing designer clothing we will assume that you are doingwell financially and therefore do not need a pay rise. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positiveemployment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns,complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should bedirected elsewhere. Have a nice day HR PS – please charge the time spent reading this email to ANNUAL LEAVE.
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: annual leave, joke, leave, rules, work
Categories : Fun stuff
A nEw DiCtIoNnArY…
19 09 2009Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Categories : Fun stuff
Ode to Joy on crystal
10 05 2009
Comments : 1 Comment »
Tags: crystal, music, ode to joy
Categories : Books, songs, movies, Fun stuff




Recent Comments