No, I am no advertising for Miss Congeniality, although I found the movie pretty funny, but that’s only because I watched it in English and therefore didn’t understand all the “bad words” lol. It made it all the more enjoyable 
but anyways, today, we were in class, and so we somehow started looking for quotes from that movie. some of them are actually pretty funny, so if you need a good laugh
Gracie Hart: You think I’m gorgeous, you want to kiss me…
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl “Rhode Island”: That’s a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.
Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, AND I’m armed! Don’t MESS with me!
Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.
Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.
Victor Melling: What no armored car?
Gracie Hart: That would be in my other dress.
Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Stan Fields: I don’t own a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in “Jurassic Park.”
Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric Matthews: Remember, you like that name.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points.
Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called “The Garden State”?
Gracie Hart: Because “Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State” wouldn’t fit on a license plate?
Stan Fields: What is the one most important thing our society needs?
Gracie Hart: That would be… harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.
[crowd is silent]
Gracie Hart: And world peace!
[crowd cheers ecstatically]
Stan Fields: Isn’t she lovely? Thank you, Gracie Lou.
Gracie Hart: And thank *you*, Stan.
[Gracie walks offstage]
Victor Melling: That was charming. Are you drunk?
Gracie Hart: I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn’t say ‘Thank you very much for the Country Music Award’!
Victor Melling: I’m sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
[Explaining why she was with a guy the night before]
Gracie Hart: Yeah, I was dating him for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease…
All Girls: ooh.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, I didn’t realize it was stupidity.
Victor Melling: Glide! Glide! Don’t pick your feet up. Don’t, don’t… Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I’m preparing to run away!
Victor Melling: [teaching Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It’s all in the buttocks. Don’t I look pretty?
Gracie Hart: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
Gracie Hart: Look, she’s gonna cry again.
[imitating winner]
Gracie Hart: “Oh, if I only had a brain.”
Gracie Hart: My teeth - What are you going to do with my teeth?
Victor Melling: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue.
Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she’s me and there’s something you wanna know but I don’t wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?
[Gracie pulls earpiece out of her ear]
Eric Matthews: Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing?
Gracie Hart: I can’t talk girl talk with a guy in my head! I can’t even do it with me in my head!
Victor Melling: If I’d ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you… which is perhaps why I’ve never reproduced.
Cheryl “Rhode Island”: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn’t buy them for me - she said they were Satan’s panties!
Gracie Hart: You ate pizza, you stole panties! You’re a wild woman!
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