No, I am no advertising for Miss Congeniality, although I found the movie pretty funny, but that’s only because I watched it in English and therefore didn’t understand all the “bad words” lol. It made it all the more enjoyable 🙂
but anyways, today, we were in class, and so we somehow started looking for quotes from that movie. some of them are actually pretty funny, so if you need a good laugh 🙂
Gracie Hart: You think I’m gorgeous, you want to kiss me…
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl “Rhode Island”: That’s a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.
Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, AND I’m armed! Don’t MESS with me!
Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.
Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.
Victor Melling: What no armored car?
Gracie Hart: That would be in my other dress.
Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Stan Fields: I don’t own a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in “Jurassic Park.”
Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric Matthews: Remember, you like that name.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points.
Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called “The Garden State”?
Gracie Hart: Because “Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State” wouldn’t fit on a license plate?
Stan Fields: What is the one most important thing our society needs?
Gracie Hart: That would be… harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.
[crowd is silent]
Gracie Hart: And world peace!
[crowd cheers ecstatically]
Stan Fields: Isn’t she lovely? Thank you, Gracie Lou.
Gracie Hart: And thank *you*, Stan.
[Gracie walks offstage]
Victor Melling: That was charming. Are you drunk?
Gracie Hart: I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn’t say ‘Thank you very much for the Country Music Award’!
Victor Melling: I’m sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
[Explaining why she was with a guy the night before]
Gracie Hart: Yeah, I was dating him for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease…
All Girls: ooh.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, I didn’t realize it was stupidity.
Victor Melling: Glide! Glide! Don’t pick your feet up. Don’t, don’t… Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I’m preparing to run away!
Victor Melling: [teaching Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It’s all in the buttocks. Don’t I look pretty?
Gracie Hart: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
Gracie Hart: Look, she’s gonna cry again.
Gracie Hart: “Oh, if I only had a brain.”
Gracie Hart: My teeth – What are you going to do with my teeth?
Victor Melling: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue.
Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she’s me and there’s something you wanna know but I don’t wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?
[Gracie pulls earpiece out of her ear]
Eric Matthews: Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing?
Gracie Hart: I can’t talk girl talk with a guy in my head! I can’t even do it with me in my head!
Victor Melling: If I’d ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you… which is perhaps why I’ve never reproduced.
Cheryl “Rhode Island”: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn’t buy them for me – she said they were Satan’s panties!
Gracie Hart: You ate pizza, you stole panties! You’re a wild woman!