The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations the British Government conceded that English spelling has room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan
that would become known as Euro-English
In the first year “ s “ will replace the soft “ c “. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “ c “ will be dropped in favour of “ k “. This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ ph “ will be replased with “ f “. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “ e “ in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replacing “ th “with “ z “ and “ w “ with “ v “
During ze fifz yer ze unesesary “ o “ kan be drpd from vords kontaining “ ou “ and after ziz fifz yer v vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a United Urop vil finali kum tru.
N efter ze fifz yer ve vil al be spekin german like zey vunted in ze forst plas.